"The Other Side" of 3SX |
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We're not ALL business here at 3SX. We have a silly, goofy, stoopid, funny side as well. We'll post random stuff we find either internally or elsewhere in the world that we think is, well, we'll just say... "interesting" Be sure to check back frequently new additions!
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The 11th Husband A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin." "What ?" said the puzzled groom. "Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be. "Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me. "Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up. " Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.. "Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. "Husband #6 was from Administration; he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. "Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it. "Husband #8 was a Psychiatrist; all he did was talk about it. "Husband #9 was a Gynecologist; all he did was look at it. "Husband #10 was a Stamp Collector; all he ever did was........... God I miss him !!. "But now that I've married you, I'm so excited". "Wonderful", said the husband, "but why ? "You're with the " GOVERNMENT ". . .
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A Lady walks into Tiffany's A lady walks into Tiffany's.. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she lets out a loud fart. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional salesman in a store like Tiffany's, and greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?' Feeling uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman may not have been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, 'Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to sh!t when I tell you the price... |
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Hangman!
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Little Bits of Wisdom and Insight... I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes." > > ~~~~~ Aspire to inspire before you expire. > > ~~~~~ My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine. > > ~~~~~ Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. > > ~~~~~ Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting. > > ~~~~~ The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere. > > ~~~~~ God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question. > > ~~~~~ I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one. > > ~~~~~ Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
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Need a Job? Outside Bristol Zoo is the car park, with spaces for 150 cars and 8 coaches. It has been manned 6 days a week for 23 years by the same charming and very polite car park attendant with a ticket machine. The charges are $1 per car and $5 per coach. On Monday 1 June, he did not turn up for work. Bristol Zoo management phoned Bristol City Council to ask them to send a replacement parking attendant. The Council said "That car park is your responsibility." The Zoo said "The attendant was employed by the City Council... wasn't he?" The Council said "What attendant?" Gone missing from his home is a man who has been taking fees amounting to about $400 per day, for the last 23 years...! Total sum $2.870 million. |
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LIFE On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?" And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said: You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you.
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BBQ RULES We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine...
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| YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when...
1. You accidentally enter your pin on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses... 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10... You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee... 11.. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13.. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasnt#9 on this list. AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
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Why we need to support our edumakashun sisttim
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Nuff Said.
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Redefining "Fish-Eye Lens"
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Asanas With Props
Subscript reads: This version of the posture requires considerable strength in the neck, shoulders, and back, requiring years of practice to achieve. It should not be attempted without supervision.
Well... He was supervised! |
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Dream Big...
Dream Bigger!
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Michelin Baby
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No Better Radar Detector!
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Random Funny Pics
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A Variety of Motivational Posers... er.... Posters
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Women Driving Video Link
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Make us LOL!!!Got something that you think is worthy of our funny bone page? Send it to us! Email your joke, picture, video, link, etc, to FunnyStuff@3SX.com
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